So you'll agree that this year has been an unsettling one. I suppose that's what I get for opening the "what happened to my mother" can of worms.

As much as Anna Smythe-Beauchamp rubs me up the wrong way, getting back in touch with the hippies has really been a great comfort to me. And I've been thinking about this.

You all know I LOVE me some science, and really the world of the spiritual isn't explainable by the scientific method. Oh, I know, every now and again they bung a meditating Buddhist in a MRI scanner and see the god-nexus of neurones light up. But that doesn't explain the feelings. I suppose this is an area of existence best left to poets, artists and philosophers.

The other thing that occurred to me is that even if there is no Godhead, I still like the feelings I get with I sit in the love-circle with the hippies, or meditate, or look out over the southern oceans.

So you know what, if it's good enough for L. Ron Hubbard it's good enough for LaQuisha Redfern.

I'm going to start a religion.

Did I mention that there's a drought on? It's quite depressing really, I mean the weather isn't, but the golden glow in the toilet bowl is. If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown make it drown. Let it never be said that I didn't do my part in water conservation.

The upside, of course, is day after day of balmy warm weather, blue sky and a warm breeze from the sea.

And the PIs, bless them, managed to crack the Anna Smythe-Beauchamp nut. They did a profile on her, you know, like a FBI psychological profile? And it revealed that she is highly motivated to help others achieve "spiritual fulfilment". For all kinds of complicated reasons stemming from her childhood, but I kind of zoned out at that point and got involved with doodling unicorns. I'm not a fan of meetings.

So we used that little nugget of information to manipulate darling Anna Smythe-Beauchamp into arranging a meeting with ET.

Turns out all it took was for me to promise "cleanse my aura". I'm wondering if a high-colonic would suffice.

Hello my lovelies,

I'm back in Wellington after a delightful stay on the old hippy commune. Well, it became delightful after Anna Smythe-Beauchamp was whipped into shape.

I'm such a lesbian when it comes to sitting in a love-circle and sharing my feelings, lighting candles and generally getting down with my inner-goddess. I even stayed in a tent! Albeit a tent designed for a family of 6, with an inflatable queen sized bed. And the weather was so lovely and warm.

Although - I don't know who was in charge of buying food, because when I looked in the communal fridge I discovered 10 litres of organic yoghurt. Kind of weird don't you think? Maybe someone had the thrush? I always go for that pill when mine flairs up.

Sorry, too much information.

Anyway, I got back to this little piece of correspondence from the PIs.

From: "S&M Private Investigation Special Services"
Date: Fri, March 15, 2013 10:46 am
To: "LaQuisha Redfern"
Subject: Weekly progress report

Dear Ms Redfern,

With regards to the finding of your name mentioned on a numbers station, we have located a possible origin of that transmission. There were tranmissions from a residential address, which we have visited and found not only a high-gain AM radio transmitter, but also equipment for sending and recieving video over shortwave radio, known as "slow scan". This equipment is old, probably manufactured in the 1970s. We have been unable to determine the last time that it was used.

The house itself is presently owned by the government, and it is scheduled to be demolished to make way for a bypass. We have made a request for the ownership history of the house and will let you know when we have interviewed the previous owners, in an attempt to find out more about this equipment.

Yours faithfully
Diana Mully

You Have Seven Missed Calls

I awoke this morning to find that I had seven missed called from Anna Smythe-Beauchamp.

And, you know what, I feel kind of icky talking to her at the moment. Maybe I regret breaking the glass coffee table.

Maybe.

So here's what I did, I sent her a text saying I could meet tomorrow afternoon.

Meanwhile I'm actually having quite a delightful time wandering around the lakes in Huntly. Evidently they used to be open-cast coal mines that have filled with water. How any aquatic life survives in what can only be a soup of heavy metals is beyond me. I keep expecting to see a three eyed duck. But so far I've only seen perfectly natural and normal wildlife.

The other good news is that I don't have to go back to that hateful motel, my country residence is now an option and after I finished feeding the ducks low-carb treats my dear chauffeur will whisk me away.

Love always

LQ